Can't I be Loving?

I have been feeling in need of a bit of spiritual guidence in my life lately. A force to tell me how to dig deep to find some compassion for people who need it. I want to be the kind of person who buys flowers for the girl who dislikes me, say something kind to the girl who needs a kind word, feel love and compassion for her.

But...I'm a Mytyr:

a person who seeks sympathy or attention by feigning or exaggerating pain, deprivation, etc.

I always want to say "where is the compassion for me??" "She treats me terrible" "I did this nice thing for her and did I get a thanks?"

Why do I need recognition from others that I was mistreated? Why do I need recognition for a good deed? This defectual part of my charactor needs to go! I want to be a sweet loving person. Damn it. I'm gonna keep trying.

Let me know if you have advice for my sick soul!